Issues Concerning Domestic Violence Essays

Issues Concerning Domestic Violence Essays Issues Concerning Domestic Violence Paper Issues Concerning Domestic Violence Paper and it includes the abuse suffered from a history of genocide or persecution. Economic abuse this occurs where the man has total control over all financial resources. For example, he may forbid the woman to work or if she does he may insist that she hands over her pay check to him unopened. She may have to beg for money to buy necessities and when it is given it may often be insufficient. She is then criticized for being stupid or incompetent in failing to provide adequately with this sum. Social abuse includes delivering verbal abuse in front of other people, such as put-down, jokes, criticisms about the womans weight, appearance, sexuality, intelligence ect. Controlling behaviors such as following her to work, controlling access to friends, constant phone calls at work or accusations of imagined affairs ect. Isolating a woman by denigrating her friends and family, thus leading her to cut herself off because she fears enraging her husband, locking the women in or out of the house, cutting off the telephone, never letting her use the car ect. Social abuse is the constant monitoring and control of a womens activities, outings, and friendships. She may be forced to account herself for her every movement, and my be denied the right to leave the home and see her friends. The result for the abused woman can be public humiliation and isolation from friends and other members of her family. For centuries, the abuse of wives by their husbands has been tolerated by most societies. In some cultures, it was considered to be a part of married life, a method of acceptable control. Since men were paid through dowries to take care of wives, the notion was that wives were considered property in much the same way that children were viewed. Consequently, authorities often believe that it is inappropriate to interfere in the relationship between a man and his wife or children. â€Å"There seems to be an implicit, taken-for-granted cultural norm which makes it legitimate for family members to hit each other. In respect to husbands and wives, in effect, this means that the marriage license is also a hitting license†. Actually, there is no equality with regard to husbands and wives hitting one another. Additionally, Congress and state legislatures have passed laws that have aided in the protection of victims of domestic violence and the prosecution of offenders. For example,the Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act was passed by Congress in 1974 to help states and communities organize programs for parents who abuse their children. Also in 1974, the National Institute of Mental Health established a national center in Denver to study the problem more thoroughly and set up a national commission to resolve the complicated legal problems and recommend changes in federal and state laws involving child abuse. Grant programs have also been funded to identify the causes of child abuse and provide treatment through self-help programs and lay therapy. Increasingly, states are requiring social workers and psychologists to report all cases of known or suspected child abuse to child protection authorities in their communities. The Cycle of Domestic Violence shows how domestic violence often becomes a pattern comprised of three stages. The phases vary in time and in severity between couples, and even at different times within the same relationship. It is, then, difficult to predict how long a couple will remain in one phase or to determine the length of an individual couple’s cycle. Phase 1 is the Tension-Building Phase, which constitutes criticism, yelling, swearing, and using angry gestures, coercion, and/or threats. Phase 2 is the Violence Phase, which is characterized by physical and sexual attacks and threats. Phase 3 is the Seduction Phase that is portrayed with apologies, blaming, promises to change, and gifts. It also explains how three dynamics - (1) love, (2) hope, and (3) fear keep the cycle in motion and make it difficult to end a violent relationship. For the sake of illustration, (1) Love for one’s partner: ‘the relationship has it’s good points, it’s not all bad†. (2) Hope that it will change: ‘the relationship didn’t begin like this’. (3) Fear that the threats to kill you or your family will become a reality. The Cycle Of Violence PHASE 1: TENSION BUILDING Poor communication / series of minor incidents / decreased control Compliant / good behavior/ experiences/ increased tension/ minimizes problems/ increases threats/ denies anger/ takes more control/ withdraws/ controls more/ tension intolerable PHASE 2: ACUTE BATTERING Increased stress and injury/ loss of control Unpredictable, claims loss of control / is helpless, feels trapped / highly abusive/ traumatized PHASE 3: KINDNESS AND LOVING BEHAVIOR Tension drops / Renewed love / Increased Tension Often apologetic, attentive / mixed feelings / is manipulative / feels guilty and responsible / promises changes / considers reconciliation After the abuser has gone through all of the phases, it starts over again with phase one and continues until the victim either gets help or is killed. So, why, why would a person who is loved, want to abuse their spouse or girlfriend? One of the key responses . . . Jealousy. The husband may become very suspicious, afraid of losing his wife. The abuser sees his wife or girlfriend as a possession. The only way, they think, to relieve this built up anger is aggression. To improve their self-esteem, they abuse the victim physically, emotionally, and sometimes, sexually. Another key factor in wife abuse is alcohol. When the man is stressed, he turns to alcohol to relieve it. Little does he know, that the alcohol makes him more irritable. Research shows that men who abuse their wives, often saw their own mother abused. Do to witnessing this, the children of battered families usually grow up to have low self-esteem and believe that hitting is right. Women who are in abusive relationships find it very difficult to leave. Not only are they afraid for their own lives, but sometimes, if children are involved, the offender threatens the lives of the children. One woman told a psychologist, He promises anything you want to hear. He promises that he will do anything, lots of tears, and Oh, Im so sorry, and I love these children, I would never do it again. You want to believe that its just a mistake, but its not a mistake,. Many women are threatened by their husband or boyfriend that if they try to leave theyll be hurt worse than ever before or even killed. 68% fear that their lives will be taken by the abuser, 71% of abused women believe that they are still in love with their husband or boyfriend, and 66% believe that they need a man to have a successful and happy life. After repeated abuse many of the abusers try to convince the victims that theyll change and that it will never happen again. Researchers stress the point, Once an Abuser always an Abuser,. Statistics regarding spouse abuse in the United States frequently cited are estimates at best. Many wives are fearful of retaliation by their husbands and are, therefore, reluctant to report the abuse. Some fail to report it because they are ashamed or feel that it is no one’s business. Unfortunately, many times only when the abuse is so severe that the woman requires medical intervention are reports made to law enforcement agencies. In any case, the Justice Department estimates that more than two million women each year are abused by their husbands in domestic violence incidents. Almost four thousand women are brutally beaten to death by their husbands each year. One-fourth of all female suicides are committed by women who have a history of being beaten by significant men in their lives. Many women do not leave the homes in which they are being abused for an assortment of reasons. The homes involved in domestic violence are complicated, with dysfunctional relationships and unhealthy dynamics. The abusive partner tends to display more than physical violence. He also inflicts emotional abuse that often shatters the self-esteem and independent thinking of the victim In other words, there is â€Å"a complicated and cumulative cycle of tension, belittlement, violence, remorse, and reconciliation that can lead to a paralysis of will and extinction of self-respect†. Child Abuse So, if youre in an abusive relationship what is the best way to get out and stop the battering? After notorious acts of abuse, usually, the woman will finally realize that the situation will never get better. Basically there are three basic reasons why women leave a violent relationship: 1. Knowledge that help is available. 2. Impact on the children. Living in a violent home where the batterer abuses the children physically, mentally, or sexually may give the woman the courage to leave. 3. Reaching the limit of violence she will tolerate (Berger, 1990, pg. 48). First, Knowledge that help is available, there are many groups and organizations helping people deal with domestic violence and child abuse. For example, the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence, offers information on domestic violence. You can reach them at 1-800-537-2238. If your town or city doesnt have any organization for the victims of domestic violence, you should definitely look into starting some kind of way to help these people. The main thing is not to suffer in silenceto reach out for help. Domestic violence is a serious dilemma in today’s society. The only answer toward preventing domestic violence should start when we raise our children. Violence is a learned behavior. When children get hit, they learn something in that process. They ascertain that when frustrated or angry, it is OK to take out that frustration and anger on someone else. They learn that violence is OK. Violence then becomes a learned behavior. The only way to promote a non-violent society is to teach children non-violent habits. TEEN DATING VIOLENCE FACTS MYTHS Myth: It cant happen to me Fact: More than 1 in 10 teenagers experience physical violence in their relationships Myth: Jealousy and possessiveness are a sign of true love Fact: Jealousy and possessiveness are a sign that the person sees you as a possession. It is the most common early warning sign of abuse. Myth: Teen dating violence isnt really that serious. Fact: Thirty percent of all women who are murdered in this country are killed by their husband or boyfriend. According to a Massachusetts study, that same high percentage applied to teen woman, aged 15-19, as well. Also, 60% of all rapes reported to rape crisis centers are committed by acquaintances, and the majority of victims are aged 16-24. Myth: Men are battered by women just as often as women are battered by men. Fact: The U. S. Bureau of Justice Statistics reports that 95% of the reported incidents of assaults in relationships are committed by males. Myth: Alcohol causes a man to batter Fact: Many men who batter do not drink heavily , and many alcoholics do not beat their partners. Further, batterers who do drink dont necessarily give up battering when they give up drinking. While they are drunk, the alcohol acts as their excuse. Myth: Victims bring on the abuse themselves. They ask for it Fact: Perpetrators believe they have the right to use abuse to control their partner, and they see the victim as less than equal to themselves. The victim has no control over the abuser. Myth: If a person stays in an abusive relationship, it must not really be that bad. Fact: People stay in abusive relationships for a number of reasons: fear, economic dependence, confusion, loss of self-confidence, not recognizing that whats happening is abusive, belief that the abuser needs their help or will change. Myth: Most batterers are bums or crazy people. Fact: Batterers are found in all classes and types of people: rich, poor, professional, unemployed, black, white, urban, and rural. Bibliography : ncpc. org/3vio3dc. htm 911rape. org/facts/index. html